The smile is absolutely amazing. It is one of simplest of quite gestures on the part of human beings. Yet, it is a gesture that is full of meaning. It is profoundly interesting that, from the outset, we distinguish between a genuine smile and a forced smile. And this tells us something that is so very amazing, namely that the typical person can distinguish between a genuine smile and a forced smile, although the difference between the two has to be remarkably miniscule. After all, we are talking about the difference between two types of smiles—and not the differences between two forms of behavior that are already quite distinct—say the difference between a wink and a smile or between a wink and a frown.
What is also most fascinating is that the character of smiles are pretty much the same across also sorts of physical differences and forms of social acculturation. A happily smiling Chinese person and a happily smiling African are both easily recognizable as smiling, notwithstanding the quite visible physical differences between the two individuals.
Finally, in this regard is the fact that there is no obvious correlation between smiling and appearing more attractive as a result of smiling. While a smile no doubt renders some individuals more physically appealing, this is simply not always the case. So what we have here is the interesting case where a smile can be a tremendous sign of social warmth although the person who is exhibiting that warmth by way of a smile is not thereby more attractive-looking. In fact, a person may very well be less attractive-looking.
The smile, then, is a most sublime piece of human behavior. The genuine smile is recognizable across all human variations as none other than a sign of social warmth. A wonderful affirming smile can make for a lasting memory.
Needless to say, a most relevant fact is that the smile is so instinctive that it takes extraordinary will-power not to smile when the joyful interaction that one is having with a person naturally occasions the smile. In this regard, notice that between a smile and a state of fear it is next to impossible to mistake one for the other. No one ever says “I was so afraid that I could not help but smile”. Likewise, no one ever says “I was so happy about what happened that I was trembling with fear”.
Notice how significant the observation of the preceding paragraph turns out to be. There is simply no mistaking fear for contentment or the other way around. From the standpoint of social interaction this truth plummets the depths of profundity. Two strangers can have a most agreeable moment of interaction (at the checkout counter, for example) precisely because each witnessed a smile on the part of one another at every step along the way. The interaction would have been impossible if each had to say at regular intervening moments “I am o.k. with this”.
Besides, the utterance of such words, while not insignificant, could never take the place of a smile, precisely because a smile seems to be so instinctive whereas words are generally an expression of volition. A person may choose to speak or not to speak. We do not—at least not in the very same way—typically choose to smile in the context of a very socially warm moment. At the end of a very pleasant moment, I might very well choose to say “It was really a pleasure talking to you”. By contrast, what surely did not happen is that I thought to myself “Oh this is a happy moment. So let me smile. And then I proceeded to smile”.
I think of the smile as none other than God’s gift to humanity. Between two perfect strangers who are not likely ever to see one another again a pleasant exchange filled with mutual smiles can be none other than a most beautiful ray of sunshine to our very soul. It is a fact of life that so many things, be they good or bad, happen unexpectedly. Accordingly, it is not possible to prepare for them. And just as a negative moment can be unraveling, a positive moment can, as I mentioned in the preceding paragraph, so very uplifting.
Walking along Boulevard St. Germain, the bus that passed the corner let out an enormously loud explosion-like sound. I jumped as if I were trying to make a basketball shot. So did the three guys coming towards me. We all came back down laughing most heartily with one another and at one another. We all had realized that everything was fine, and that an explosion had not just occurred. That event happened about 2-years ago. Yet, I remember in a very appreciative way the wonderful moment of laughter as if it happened yesterday.
I suggest that for anyone who lives well, her or his life will be replete with wonderful moments of laughter rather like the story I described in the preceding paragraph. One may think of laughter rather like a form of social lubricant. Although lubricant is no substitute for the machine itself, lubricant enables the parts of the machine to function with far less wear and unnecessary friction.
Laughter is God’s natural lubricant for the soul in the world of endless social interaction. In turn, the smile is the inescapable sign that moment is perceived by the other to be a pleasant one. We do not need words. Indeed, there may not be time for words. We just need to see that the other is smiling. A person may very well look less physically attractive while smiling. Yet, that person’s very smile may, at the moment in question, be a veritable furnace of social warmth.
The smile is hardly proof that God exists. Accordingly, the title of this blog-entry no doubt offends some. However, the sublime truth that the smile is a universal thing that it makes such a positive difference is what inspired the title.
To say that we just evolved that way is, I believe, to miss the majesty of the moment. For why would we have evolved that way? How does one tell the evolutionary story that the smile has survival value? One can see straightaway how both walking upright and language have survival value. But the mere smile?
The smile is a very simple piece of behavior that is universal and which often makes all the difference in the world in the way in which human interaction unfolds and for which no words, no matter how eloquent, can ever substitute? Yet, at first blush, it looks for all the world as if human beings could get along perfectly well without, of all things, the wherewithal to smile. Notice, though, that we human beings would have to be very different creatures indeed if all that we lacked turned out to be none other than the physical wherewithal to smile. If that does not make the smile majestic, then I cannot begin to fathom what does.
