Paul Robeson High School: 1 Out of 7 Pregnant. How to Help

It is tremendously disconcerting that 1 out of 7 (or 8, depending on the story one reads) female students at Paul Robeson High School is pregnant. And, needless to say, Principal Gerald Morrow is to be commended for wanting to help these exceedingly young-mothers-to-be. Alas, what is at issue here is the very thin line between helping these young women and condoning what has happened. If Morrow is to succeed, it is precisely this line that he must not cross. The women are to be helped, but the practice of having children out of wedlock and at such a young age must not be condoned.
I distinguish sharply between what I shall deconstructive shame, on the one hand, constructive shame, on the other. The very idea behind destructive to shame is to make the person feel morally and socially unworthy for that which she or he has done. Destructive shame takes a wrongful act and insists that the wrongful act reveals that the very person essentially has no social or moral worth at all.
In a word, then, destructive shame goes too far precisely because it essentially rules out the possibility for rehabilitation.
Constructive shame, by contrast, does not deny the wrong. Not at all. Rather, constructive shame takes the wrong committed and turns it into a learning moment. The very idea, then, is that shame can very well be a catalyst for doing good.
If Principal Morrow is to really make a difference, he cannot afford to eliminate shame altogether. Getting pregnant in high school is an enormously irresponsible thing to do. It is not good for the very young female student. It is not good for the infant. Getting pregnant in high school is not a form of excellence. It is not anything of which anyone should be proud.
Just so, getting pregnant at 16 is a mistake that can be turned into a majestic learning moment. And this is only proper way to succeed. The analogue here is roughly that of loving parents saying to their child “We are ashamed of what you did, but we still love you”. Far from devastating the child, the statement sends just the right message to the child: “What you did was wrong, but we are going to move on in a positive way from there.”
There is the saying “No pain; no gain”. Alas, this saying has some applicability in the moral domain as well. Shame can serve as an ever so poignant reminder of what not do again, and also as an ever so profound inspiration for providing guidance to others.
Back to Paul Robeson High School: Well, the name and various photographs of students here and there would suggest that Paul Robeson High is a predominantly black high school.
Far too often, the thought nowadays would seem to be that criticizing the behavior of blacks is some form of betrayal to the black community. Indeed, it seems that no matter how harmful the behavior is, someone will argue that criticizing the behavior is wrong because the behavior is behavior that flows from African roots or because criticizing the behavior contributes to racism against blacks.
Well, nothing will contribute more to the languishing of black people than the complete absence of criticism, where criticism is appropriate. Black people do not have a claim to moral perfection. And constructive criticism has always been a most significant key to flourishing. It is downright stupid to suppose that black people are the exception to the truth that constructive criticism is absolutely a key to flourishing.
These high school mothers-to-be should talk both to one another and to their females who are not pregnant about why it is important not to become pregnant in high school. They should talk about what they must give up, even as they talk about how they shall forge ahead.
Getting pregnant is a life-altering event—a life altering event that no high school should student should ever experience. It is terribly disingenuous and misleading not to put the point precisely this way.
Better every teenage female at Robeson High School should know this truth than to be told the lie that there is nothing wrong with being pregnant as a high school student.
What is manifestly true, of course, is that no child has any less moral value regardless of the circumstances under which that child was conceived—be it rape or the full blessings of a loving marital covenant. However, issues must not be confused. The moral worth of a child is one thing. The behavior that got that child into the world is quite another. Some forms of behavior that cause a child to be brought into the world are most morally commendable. Other forms of behavior are absolutely not. Principal Gerald Morrow must not lose sight of this truth. Or so it is if he is to succeed in making a difference for the better at the Paul Robeson High School.
Morrow must take the mistakes of the past made by each female student who has become pregnant and use those mistakes as a vehicle for launching self-discipline and self-respect on the part of these students—both pregnant and not pregnant. He must give the students who are not pregnant the power to say “No” to the sexual advances of teenage boys. And in this regard, avoiding a sense of shame can go a very, very long ways in terms providing a person with a reason to resist temptation. Thus, the pain of shame serves as the launching pad for a most important moral victory, namely that of saying “No” to the sexual advances of teenage boys.
I have heard teenage girls say that they want a baby because “They want someone to love them”. Obviously, this is to confuse roles ever so mightily. It is the parent who has the responsibility of loving the child. Not the other way around.
Principal Morrow will succeed if he can increasingly bring it about that more female students in the high school graduate without becoming pregnant. He will not accomplish that end in the absence of the tool of constructive moral shame.