With rare exception, context typically makes all the difference in the world. Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a person who shoots straight from the hip; and her thinking is that if it is wrong to say the word “nigger”, then it is wrong for anyone to say it; accordingly, blacks do not get a free pass. I fully concur with Dr. Schlessinger. It is incomprehensible to me that blacks can get so very bent out of shape if a white person utters the word “nigger” merely to illustrate a point or when the word is part of a quote when that very word commonly issues from the mouths of blacks time and time again.
Now, it would be one thing if whenever blacks uttered the word “nigger”, they meant something positive by it. But that is far from being the case. A black is hardly being complimentary if she or he says to another black: “You mother fucking nigger. What the hell were you thinking when you did such-and-such?” There is nothing at all complimentary in that use of the word “nigger”.
Dr. Schlessinger was trying to illustrate a point to the caller. And at the same time she was expressing her exasperation over the fact that there is such an untenable double standard with respect to the use of the word “nigger”—so much so that it has become de rigueur to say the “n-word” instead of saying the word “nigger” outright in a case such as the following: “I was stunned to hear that Smith had been called nigger by her son”.
I concur with Dr. Schlessinger’s exasperation. I also want to say that I know her personally, having met her in 1996. Indeed, I have had the honour of meeting her family. I can attest to the fact that racist motives do not operate in her life. On various occasions I have heard her directly say on her radio program that it does not matter what color her son’s bride turns out to be just so long as she is a woman of character. Truth be told, I cannot recall ever hearing any of my liberal white colleagues speak in that way about their children although it goes without saying, of course, that none of them are in any way racist.
Insofar as Dr. Schlessinger is opened to criticism her, it is that she does not appreciate that others do not fully appreciate her deep and abiding moral perspective. Let me explain.
I am very visibly black. Yet, I am not in the position to use the word “nigger” in reference to other blacks. The circumstances of my life are seen as too fortunate; accordingly, the supposition of condescension on my part would easily enough creep in. Never mind that the circumstances of my life that make me rather fortunate make me rather fortunate vis-à-vis everyone—not just blacks. I have learnt to appreciate this fact about myself.
In a similar manner, Dr. Laura Schlessinger needs to appreciate a like fact about herself. In this ever so complicated world, it is far too easy for people to see her have having inappropriate motivations than it is for them to fix upon the excellence of character that she is exuding in the context.
A neutral example will be useful here. In the fall of 2009, I posed a question to my 400-student class. It was the first day of class; and so I did not know any names. Four guys in the back to my left raised their hand: three white guys and one Asian guy wearing glasses”. So I called on the Asian guy by saying “The Asian guy with the glasses”. Well, the entire auditorium gasped. I went on with the lecture. But when I saw the Asian guy the next class I asked him did he grasp why I said “Asian guy with the glasses”. He looked me almost puzzled and responded “Yeah, you wanted me to answer the question”. To that response I had but two words to say: Thank You.
Also sitting towards the back was a Muslim woman wearing a hijab; and after the class gasped over my saying “The Asian guy with the glasses”, I retorted with the observation that if the Muslim woman had raised her hand and I wanted to call on her on that first day of class I would have said “The Muslim woman wearing the hijab”. Her response was: “That would be just fine”. She was not the only Muslim woman in the class, but throughout the semester she was the only one who wore the hijab.
We live in a period in history when simple commonsense has fallen by the wayside. Therein lies the real problem with Dr. Schlessinger saying and repeating on several occasions the word “nigger” as she was conversing with the caller. Guess what? Laura Schlessinger was trying to make a point. And one of her most profound points in talking to many a caller is that the caller’s point of view is not the only point of view that counts. In an odd way, this very point applies to Dr. Schlessinger herself.
There was a time when living a life that so demonstrably aspired towards moral excellence was something of a trump card. In terms of meaning well, people automatically gave such a person the benefit of the doubt. In order for that not to happen, the person almost had to say “Hey, I am having a mean moment. Watch out”.
Alas, that day has long since gone. A prophet could perform countless miracles on a daily basis, along with numerous other good deeds, and yet somebody would be so self-centered as not to see that the honorable motivations of the prophet because they feel as if the prophet had somehow over looked her or him. Never mind that the person was always more than a block or so behind the prophet. Clearly the prophet should have look around for the person!
I am hardly suggesting that Laura Schlessinger is a prophet. She would not want that. But I clearly mean to be stating that her motives are ever so honorable. One would hope—nay, expect—that her callers would appreciate that. Insofar as we live a decent life, we want to be taken for the good that is characteristic of the life that we live and not the mistakes that people typically make who live no such life.
A former white student of mine turned me on to the extraordinarily humorous ways in which Bernie Mac uses the word “nigger”. Another white student of who wrote his dissertation with me is absolutely comfortable with saying the word “nigger” in conversation with me when we are talking about things that have been said and he is reporting to me remarks made by others. In both cases, they knew that I put the quality of their character above the color of the skin.
Quite simply, the faux pas that Dr. Laura Schlessinger made can be attributed to the expectation that the caller would put the content of Dr. Schlessinger’s character above the color of Dr. Schlessinger’s skin. As I have indicated: Such was a way of life once upon a time. Indeed, it was very ideal so majestically articulated by Martin Luther King, Jr. himself—an ideal that has very much animated Dr. Laura Schlessinger’s life.
I think the point that most people miss, especially Dr. Laura, is not the actual word nigger, it was the suggestion that this woman should submit to being disrespected and pretty much verbally abused by anyone because speaking up would indicate that she was “hyper sensitive” and too thin-skinned to socialize in today’s society. The point is simple. It’s the same one we teach our children and remind ourselves as adults: If it hurts your feelings, ask them to stop. Besides, Dr. Laura’s generalization of an entire race (all the Black men say nigger, half of the Black population voted for Obama, we’re all hypocrites) just proves the point that racism is alive and well. It’s not an illusion that once we elected a Black president racial tensions grew. Trust me, I live in Georgia and I hear the comments EVERY day. I don’t believe that Dr. Laura’s caller expected her husband’s family and friends to ignore the fact that she was a Black woman, or even walk on egg shells whenever she’s around, I believe she just needed advice on simple day-to-day issues that ALL people regardless of color deal with: How to receive respect from your peers.