t is surely a striking feature of modernity that living well would seem to be one of its greatest challenges.  One rightly asks: How is it even possible for people to have so much and yet be so full of discontentment?  The answer, I believe, is striking for its simplicity.  I maintain that in recent years modernity has systematically undermined our humanity.  Increasingly, we who are human have come to feel like pawns in the very environment that we have created and proclaimed in the famous biblical words: “It is good”. 

It is one thing to feel troubled upon occasion.  All of us do—and rightly so.  It is quite another, however, to feel entirely invaded by a sense of discontentment throughout one’s life.  And it is precisely this feeling that of late seems to have invaded the lives of so very many people.  What is the explanation for this?  An analogy might help.

There are many ways to have an absolutely scrumptious meal.  One way would be to sit down and eat it in a suitably pleasant atmosphere.  Here is another way: One could simply have the food fed to one intravenously.  Needless to say, it is only by doing the first that one actually enjoys the meal, though with the second alternative what one receives in terms of nutrients is identical to what one receives when one actually eats the meal morsel by morsel.  There is, alas, no other way to enjoy a meal except to sit down and eat it morsel by morsel, although there are alternative ways to receive all the nutrients that are constitutive of an enjoyable meal.

This simple example speaks to why there is so much discontentment in our lives.  Whatever else is true, it is a defining feature of humanity that we need time actually to enjoy various moments of life.  The mere fact that we have access to something whenever we want it does not thereby entail that we are actually enjoying it.  What has happened with modernity of late is that we have conflated the distinction between having access to a good and enjoying that good.

Another favorite example of mine in this regard is music.  With IPods and MP3 players and the like, we now have constant access to the music we enjoy.  But I wonder how often do people really enjoy the music to which they have constant access?  What surely does not follow is that we are enjoying our music—in the sense of appreciating its richness and intricacy—simply in virtue of the fact that we are listening to it with our portable music device.  Listening to a song I love while someone is drilling next door is hardly the same as listening to it when there are no other sounds competing with it.  And if I truly love a song, it is not enough that I hear it, I want to be able to enjoy it, which is impossible if I hearing the song in the context of a host of other competing sounds. 

This example is telling because it is generally supposed that listening to music is relaxing and refreshing.  But my very point is that there is a fundamental difference between listening to music in the sense of being able to hear it and listening to music in the sense of being able to enjoy it.  I maintain that modernity has collapsed precisely this distinction.  So guess what?  While it is true more than ever that people are listening to their favorite music almost constantly, it is surely false that they are generally doing so in way that is relaxing and refreshing when they are doing so via a portable music device.   Having access to something and truly enjoying it are not the same at all.

The key to living well is being able to enjoy the things and friends that we have.  And this is not done simply by having access to either.  Modernity, however, has hoodwinked us into thinking that access and enjoyment amount to the same thing. 

Ironically, this speaks to what is so very disturbing about cell phones.  They give us access 24/7.  But I suspect that most cell phone conversations are hardly enjoyable because people are often talking while doing something else or there is the constant problem of interruption as one or the other party puts the other on hold for a moment in order to talk with yet another party. 

Unless I am missing something, part of what makes a conversation enjoyable is not simply that we are exchanging words with one another but that in general we have one another’s undivided attention.  But with cell phones, we often end up competing for one another’s attention even as we are talking to one another.  It is simply impossible for that kind of conversation to be an enjoyable one.  Once more: access to what we enjoy does not entail enjoyment.

Notice, then, that with music and contact with our friends, we have unparalleled access to both.  Yet, it is simply false that we are enjoying listening to music and conversing with our friends more than ever.  Not at all. 

When the distinction between having access to something and enjoying it is systematically conflated throughout society, then precisely what one gets is a profound sense of discontentment that invades the soul.  We often do not understand why we experience so much discontentment given that we have constant access to so much.  The answer is quite simple: Never have so many had so much while actually enjoying so little of what they have. 

We have all heard the saying “Take time and smell the roses”. However, modern society has turned ignoring its meaning into a form of art.  We will live well only if each us finds a way to take time and truly enjoy the various things that we have.  And the simple truth is that part of enjoyment requires that we do not have other things competing for our attention at the very same time. 

It is a simple fact of life that some things cannot be short-circuited and at the same time retain their full significance.  An intravenous meal does nothing at all for the palate.  And the best of meals would not be worth eating if, between every bite, one had to run outside and attend to something.  The very best of conversations nourish the soul and lift our spirits only if the individuals speaking to one another have each other’s undivided attention.  This is why a cell phone conversation will never replace a face-to-face conversaton. 

It was not too long ago, that so very many had so much less and struggled for so much more.  Yet, they also enjoyed life so very much more.  We who have everything on-demand are enjoying life so very much less.  And the explanation for this is a painfully simple one, namely that we have lost sight of the difference between having on-demand access to things and enjoying them, in that we wrongly think that having on-demand access to things entails enjoying them.  Indeed, modernity seems to be about cultivating the desire for on-demand access tthings. 

If there should never be another war or social conflict regarding equality, this privileging of on-demand access portends a very sad future: For we who are human are quickly becoming vapid creatures precisely because we are squeezing out of our lives those experiences that affirm our humanity by way of simple enjoyment. 

One day, we might look around and wonder what happened to us.  Alas, the explanation will be ever so simple, namely that notwithstanding all that we have, it turns out that we have stopped taking time to smell the roses.  And now we have become oblivious to the marvelous fragrance that roses have.  Modernity is in a crisis; and it is a crisis that has nothing whatsoever to do with war.  What is at stake is our very humanity.